When an elf decides she's unwanted at The North Pole, she goes on vacation to Florida. In New York City, a toy company is tired of Santa giving away their products for free every year and hires the mafia to "take care of the problem". Can Elfette find the twinkle inside her and save Christmas?
The plot is formulaic... absolutely no surprises in this approximately two-hour film. There was a lot of filler, questionable cinematography at points, and tangents that didn't need to exist (there was even a dream sequence for no reason). Almost every new character's role to the plot could be deciphered the minute they stepped on-screen. At one point, Elfette gets a McGuffin (that turns out to be a red herring) called the Twinkameter; it's an unfortunate name and a wholly superfluous aspect of the movie.
|Does anyone need an Egg McGuffin?
It appears to be a children's movie with plenty of puns (some cute, some not) and an obligatory fart joke, but some humor is definitely adult-oriented (like a man asking an Amazon Echo-type device about "clothing optional beaches"). There is also a substance that acts like a drug when humans ingest it. I don't think kids will sit through this.
The acting is horrible. Some very dramatic scenes were undersold and some light scenes were given a bit too much. Paradoxically, this made the movie more fun. A hitman who wants to cook an elf practically going cartoon maniacal while wearing a plastic bra? Sure! Santa half-heartedly begging for the mafia guy to "ice" him instead of his wife? I chuckled. The delivery is so bad most of the time... it's good.
|The hitman: "Is this poison or peppermint? I can't tell."
The special effects weren't special. The green screen use is so poor,the screen can fuzz out on a still shot. It was Parmesan on a double-cheese pizza.
|Not your grandparents' carbonite.
Music choices for this movie could be a bit bizarre. A piece not out of place in a Tim Burton creation could play fifteen minutes apart from generic pop song number 308. There was an ominous version of "Auld Lang Sine" I found hysterical and a "save Santa" song that characters lip-sang to... even those supposedly frozen that were walking around free for just that part.
|Imagine being thawed out to sing a fourth-rate Christmas song.
I don't think I'll watch it again. But, I laughed more than I probably should've. I'd recommend a nice glass of spiked eggnog or hard cider if you give this a go. It's streaming on Amazon Prime, and there's no one better to run a movie about a greedy corporation trying to ruin competition.