Wednesday, December 22, 2021

A Cookie Cutter Christmas: Timestamp React Review


Two schoolteachers take their rivalry to a new level while they scramble to win a holiday baking contest and the affections of a handsome single father. -Synopsis from Google.

 0:04: Aren't all Hallmark movies "A Cookie Cutter Christmas"?

0:14: That teacher is way too excited about this.

0:46: The singing duel. LOL

1:40: Two adults arguing over children. Excellent example for them.

3:35: The dad's acting with the little girl is top notch (sarcasm). Of course her mom would be dead. It's a Hallmark tradition.

5:20: He's three feet away from you, and you're talking about how cute he is with another woman.

6:40: WTF is with the horror movie camera on the drive home? Looks like a found footage movie.

9:47: Of course, the single dad is also loaded.

11:20: I love how they're fighting over him like a trophy, and he's one of those wax ones that melts in the car.

12:00: "I have been known to whip up a mean batter" easy with the sexual innuendo, Hallmark.

13:30: They're not measuring a damn thing.

14:00: Way to show off for a guy by baking, by the way.

16:04: Those cookies should be way too hot to touch, but I can't expect much after the steam delay from the oven.

18:10: Is he the only single man in this city?

21:00: She's so thirsty, she's breaking the bank on a teacher's salary to impress him and his daughter.

25:00: Backstory time.

28:18: Oh my God, the acting. The love interest is so wooden I'd think he were a tree if he stood still.

36:30: Heroine: I can't believe it. I can, it's Hallmark.

37:19: You can start a sentence with "and" (the heroine says you can't). And, she shouldn't be telling those types of lies to children.

38:40: "I'm sorry if you see the odd box lying around". There are literally three in the frame he says it in.

43:20: Why is she hyping them up for a trip she might not even be able to win through the contest?

47:50: The old "grabbing my hand while I'm stirring as a sign of romance". The last time I saw that was in pool halls.

48:45: He's feeding her off of a spoon, and she's practically getting aroused.

49:40: This banter is awkward AF.

55:20: Obviously, it would have to be those two going to the finals (the heroine and rival). I think an organizer shouldn't be able to run in their own contest.

59:16: They're having a singing competition duel redux with the love interest playing the piano. Pathetic.

1:01:55: Near miss kiss, with the rival breaking it up. Called it a mile away.

1:08:20: I can't believe the rival just stole the love interest's recipe to frame her. I knew she was childish, but holy gods.

1:10:27: The rival is really out here trying to break up a romance over a childhood spat from over twenty years ago. Someone needs therapy. She literally had the recipe card in full view of the audience as she walked it to the table. No one saw a thing?

1:20:30: I love how the love interest is pouting in the audience like a petulant child.

1:21:25: OMFG, she gets a monologue to set things straight. *Sigh*

1:24:30: It's a marvel that the hero didn't punch the rival right in the face. And, of course, everything is set right (even the rival's behavior) just in time for Christmas. Magic!

1:25:45: She really just said "All I want for Christmas is you". Can Mariah Carey sue, please? Make this go away.

1:26:04 Child breaks up the kiss. I'm glad they know how their consummation of their relationship is going to go.

Note: I do not recommend this movie for viewing. But, seeing some of the actors behave like children more than the child actors themselves was sort of entertaining.


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