This year is almost half over. But, for me, the rough stuff is just beginning.
Starting in August, I will be going through medical appointments and tests… again. I often hope for a diagnosis for all the things I am going through but dread it as well. I am positive it isn’t one, central issue but several. I have put certain things off until I can’t anymore. I’m just so tired of going through this.
Medical issues aside, I am aiming at some of my fears this year. I am going to be entering another chapbook next month. I want to present an idea for an online workshop in a conference setting with me as the instructor (I’m not sure I’m qualified enough as a poet, but we’ll see). And, by year’s end, I will have some form of audio on Youtube (me singing, reciting poems, etc).
I could sit forever, petting my fear and letting it curl up tighter in my lap, digging in. I won’t. At least, I hope I won’t.
Maybe I’ve been so darn unhappy with my career/progress because I let my reservations and fears KEEP me from seeing progress. The only way to know is to try.
So, here’s to it… trying… failing… the whole damn thing…