Thursday

Painfully Private and Art

My singing was called breathtaking, beautiful, and amazing last week.  I was asked why I don't sing with a local group who performs weekly at my favorite coffee spot, by the owner of the place.  I've been asked to sing at weddings, parties, and for private individuals.  I have brought more than one person to tears.

I love to sing.  I sing daily, or almost.  I can (mostly) carry a tune.  Am I as great as people profess?  Not by miles!  I hesitate to say it, but I think people (some people, anyway) connect the wheelchair as they listen and it affects what they hear.  Not that many near-strangers have heard me sing.  (My next-door neighbor actually knocked on my door to compliment me and tell me to sing more often.)
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But it isn't just my singing.  I don't share my arts with most people in person willingly.  Maybe it's anxiety, possibly because my ego wilts under the heat of a spotlight.  Regardless, I feel extremely embarrassed just handing someone my business card.  I even dislike wearing the jewelry I make in public because I'm afraid someone will ask me if I made it.  Why?  I don't know.

The Internet has enabled me to share my photography, jewelry, digital art, and writing.  My mom keeps asking me to record a song with her so she can share it with friends online, but I haven't yet.  Though, if I can stop my voice from shaking anytime I know a recorder is on or stranger within earshot, I might.

Now if I can just recite/sing/share with people in the same room!
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Do you have a talent (audience-appropriate) you don't share?  Did you used to have difficulty promoting, performing, or sharing but now you don't?


2 comments:

  1. I used to cringe every time I submitted a piece of writing somewhere. When I had my first story published in the newspaper, I didn't tell a soul. My Mom happened to see it, called, and gave me heck for not telling her. I still feel weird about "promoting" myself but it HAS gotten easier. You have to try and squash that nagging little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you "not good enough". That's one reason I think blogging is good for anyone creative - you have a whole bunch of people out there, strangers, who don't know you. They don't have any reason to pat you on the head and say "good job"...if they don't like what you post, they usually just quietly go away.
    Why not post an audio here on your blog? Ask for sincere feedback. People will be honest if you ask them to. And if it's negative? You can take it down, and no one will be the wiser. At least you'll be dipping your toe in the water!
    Just my humble opinion. :)

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    Replies
    1. I see myself as average, or below. Anyone can do pretty much anything I can and they can do it better.

      There are only 34 followers on my blog after almost five years. Only a few of you even bother to say anything, but I am certainly grateful you do!

      Maybe someday I'll be ready to sing for all of you... maybe.

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