Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Adopting as a Disabled Person

"No one should let disabled people adopt.  People give their children up for adoption to give them a better life, not worse."

"Disabled people would adopt older kids to get free in-home care.  Washing new mommy in the shower for room & board."

"Cripples can't teach babies to walk or play catch."

"They stay home all day and teach their kids the same."
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Disabled people can adopt, they do.  But they have to beat back a thousand prejudices before they're seen as prospective parents.  In a society that takes away a person's biological child because of the presence of disability alone, proving you can provide can be moot if you're disabled.

Of course, if you're on SSI or SSD, you will never make the amount of money necessary.  And since that's what the majority of disabled people have for their income, most people will be relieved to know the majority of us will never be entrusted with an impressionable child.  It's much better to shuffle kids around to foster homes where they may or may not be abused or feel abandoned or like no one wants them than to match them to an imperfect set of parents who want them forever and love them always.  No, sir!  After all, isn't that the "better" life?

And remember to ignore the adults who were fostered who turn to criminal behavior, or have extreme trouble forming relationships, or lack basic skills because of an inconsistent upbringing.  Also, the disabled children nearly everyone passes over for more perfect children who age out of the foster systems and head right into institutions, just where they belong.
At least they weren't raised by gimps!  That really would have messed them up.

Okay... end of rant. **Exhales slowly**

5 comments:

  1. Interesting! I've never heard those statements, for what it's worth. I have heard that adoption is tough for anyone who doesn't fit the cookie-cutter mold...but private adoptions are easier, right? I know it's also easier if you are willing to adopt a baby of any race or age...many people are very specific about wanting a newborn that is their own race. That's how celebrities often get babies faster--not just that they have the money but they're willing to go across the world and adopt a baby rather than waiting years for one in America.

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    1. Adoption is hard. The majority of disabled people don't have the money, but neither do a fair amount of "able" folks.

      Maybe people think it's easier on a child to be raised by someone of their own race. You'd think the children would be, in general, more open to parents of varying backgrounds than parents would with children.

      I, personally, wouldn't care about age/race/whatever. Every child deserves to feel loved and wanted. It's one of the major components of receiving our best chance at a good life.

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    2. International adoption can be very expensive, with multiple trips to the child's country of origin.

      I honestly believe there is a big trend to adopt abroad because there is less of a chance anyone will contest the adoption. Here, you can have the child and the parents could change their minds/a family member could apply for custody out of nowhere...

      I watched a documentary, where this Indian killed at least twelve of her newborns because they were girls. Women, in her part of India, are seen as burdens on the family because the dowry system is still practiced, though illegal...

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  2. I should think that adoption would be somewhat difficult for anyone, disabled or not. There are too many people who might abuse the privilege of having an adopted child. But once a screening process has been gone through a disability shouldn't matter. I knew a few kids who had a disabled parent and it worked out fine with them.

    Capability to tend to a child and the ability to provide their needs should be the primary concern and if all criteria are met then hopefully kids end up in a good safe home.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Those things you mentioned should be the primary concern but people carry prejudices with them that make certain things just so much more difficult. In a lot of ways, disabled people are viewed as second-class citizens, even nonentities.

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