Well, I am losing confidence. One of the bad things about being a writer is the balance of ego. Try to rest an egg comfortably on a suspended tightrope of dental floss and see how long it stays. It doesn't. The egg tumbles downward, on one side of the line or the other. Writers-- some don't have problems with this but the majority do-- are constantly trying to keep their egos deflated enough to view their work objectively while keeping enough confidence to forge on.
I tend to fall off the side of no confidence. When I am writing, I feel fabulous even when I'm second-guessing my efforts. But, when the last word is written, I feel terrible about it. It won't be bad in the beginning, I swear, but it is after awhile. I find myself comparing my work to other people's-- which isn't a good idea in many circumstances-- and finding it wanting. I used to think I was one of the best writers on the face of the planet. What happened to me?
I dislike egotistical people. It is like watching a rooster crow because the farmer turned on the porch light. Screaming about your superiority is just a glaring reminder of how far you really have to go. (Maybe not just in your profession or craft but in life as well.) If someone is good at something, they should share but there is a huge difference between confidence and being a rooster with a light. Maybe I'm just afraid that I'll be the rooster again if given the chance to be content with my writing.
I don't know if any of you can relate to this but it is driving me crazy. And, with each rejection, my ego deflates further. The funny thing is, I often tell others to keep going on their writing goals but can't seem to find the strength to take my own advice.
Writing for now,